Women

Women are an majestic and fascinating species, too complex for us to understand as men. However, we have seemed to gather that most can cook, so we have determined that they are undoubtedly quintessential to humanity's survival, as everyone knows that men cannot cook. It should be worth noting that while majestic, the woman is also a frightening creature, one that mustn't be taken lightly. She would sooner whip around with a wooden spoon and leave a welt on your leg than listen to a snarky comment. This is especially true in the well-known human bond of "marriage". We have been studying our fellow man, those known as "husbands" to get more information on this phenomenon. The typical Husband seems to be snarky towards their wife and sometimes dubbing her as inferior, but will most likely retract their statement if the woman were to become irritated. Some men are more resilient, which causes the woman to open one of the drawers in the kitchen. She does this slowly and menacingly, letting the rattling of the silverware drawer be the poor man's last warning. If he persists, the wooden spoon comes out. And god help that poor man. It is also worth nothing that the woman will use use this method in disciplining her children. Terrifying. So, in summary, what we have determined is that while women are both majestic, beautiful and terrifying, we will never understand them no matter how hard we'll try. Because the truth of the matter is: Women are fucking confusing, dude.