yellow springs

No, this is not a group of gay men peeing in a river together. Not quite. It is the sanctuary for the cross-dressing, pot-smoking faggots of Ohio. One will find the next day that people are either dead from overdoses, tripping balls, or transformed into a completely different gender (not always apparent since everyone dresses in the same plaid, punk, unisex clothing). Though the city has been devoid of legal means of income since 1965, yellow springs' economy is sustained purely by the weed, mushroom, and gay prostitution industries. Former location of the headquarters of the Asshole Enthusiast Club until the club's leadership decided the town was "too gay for them". Drum circles and groups of people who just want to "jam" are frequent in its poppy-laced fields. Considered as a possible location for the concert that took place in Woodstock before hippie bands arrived and saw that not only was the town dead, but that the place made them seem like radical Republicans. Avoid at all costs, as there is enough of all illegal substances in the air to intoxicate a person with one breath. Caution: 97% of substances within city limits are laced with PCP