Susie's Checkmate Mug
Everyone knows that when two lesbians, in a relationship, cannot stop fighting over which one gets to be the butch, they have to have a tiebreaker to come to a final conclusion. This tie breaker consists of one Rug-muncher sticking a randomly chosen object into her vagina. After completing this initial act, the other Fur-burger Bandit must repeat the previous Whisker-biscuit Eater’s random act of object insertion. As this tiebreaker continues, the objects become larger, and more obscure, until one half of the “Dildo Duo” cannot totally engulf something the other one did; thus creating a single elimination, one letter game, of Dike Horse. With that being said…A “Suisie’s Checkmate” occurs when Lesbian #1 offers a medium sized zucchini as her second choice of object, after just completing Round One with a small, but textured, mini Mag-Lite Handle. Knowing that Lesbian #2 will have no problem with the zucchini, but will take her slightly longer to fully engulf, she then positions herself behind the anti pole-smoker, and proceeds to use WWF Super Star Sergeant Slaughter’s “Cobra Clutch” to render her unconscious. Finally Lesbian #1 squats over Lesbian #2’s face, and pees all over her face as hard as she can (female cat style). Thus doing so, Lesbian #1 marks her territory over Lesbian #2, and is crowned the “Butch Dike” of the relationship.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
The snarky message on the mug always gets big laughs from guests so I'm now using it as my go-to bourbon glass
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!
nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!
Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.
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