Portugal Mug

Portugal is a country that proudly holds on to its traditions. That's why the Lonely Planet description of it from 1968 - "a country extremely poor and rural, whose people don't even know how to speak their own language" - is still very accurate. A country that once ruled half of the world, with a sense of pride so ridiculous that it still brags about holding the oldest alliance in the world with the British, who ultimately lead to the collapse of the Portuguese Empire by screwing it over about some African colonies. It's run by mobsters headquartered in the parliament house who burn down its natural heritage and kill its people in an annual festivity called "Forest Fires". The festivities take place between June and October and also consist of throwing charity events hosted by celebrities for raising money for the victims of the traditional forest fires, and then giving the money to friends and family of the mayors of the towns affected. The southern region of Portugal (Algarve) is a region of paradisiac beaches bathed by the Atlantic ocean and often receiving warm currents from the Mediterranean. It's densely populated by Brits who consistently justify the national budget for security and civil protection forces. The local government does all the restructuring and construction works during the summer, causing massive traffic jams and general chaos, but it has to be like that because during the winter there's no one there to see the region's progress.