Top Shelf
adj. / n. A person who is such an outstanding, premium-grade cock / cunt / fuckwit / idiot that, in a cabinet full of ordinary cocks / cunts / fuckwits / idiots, they would be displayed on the top shelf. The absolute elite of uselessness. The single-malt, limited-edition, collector’s-item version of a complete tool. Not just dumb or annoying - top-shelf level. The kind of specimen you point out to your mates with a mixture of awe and second-hand embarrassment.
“Did you hear what Nathan said. That bloke is pure Top Shelf. In a cabinet full of cocks, he’d be the expensive one they keep behind glass with a little light shining on him so everyone can properly appreciate what a complete and utter waste of oxygen the cunt is.”
By King Stavros III