Hipster
Being a hipster is fundamentally based on trying to be “untrendy” and thinking you have your own style. When many “untrendy” and “totally unique,” city-dwelling, men and women, who are mostly [college] students or [college] graduates, come together and unintentionally form a subculture, you end up with what has come to be known as “the hipster scene.” Hipsters are the “anti-trend” trend followers par excellence. All hipsters think that they come from diverse backgrounds, with diverse tastes in [music], fashion, [art], etc. They try to be as obscure as they can, so they can seem as intellectual and as unique as possible. But, because none of them really are intelligent or unique, they [fail] to come off as either, and instead, many of their behaviors end up rubbing off on [one] another. In order to be a hipster you CANNOT call yourself a hipster. A person who thinks of him or herself, and identifies as, a hipster is automatically NOT a hipster. This is because you must believe that you are untrendy and different in order to be a real hipster, and by labeling yourself a “hipster” you are clearly declaring that you belong to a subculture, and hence, that you are a trendy little [bastard]. Thus, being a hipster is fundamentally based on denial and self-negation. That's why the common and seemingly binding behaviors we see among hipsters change every so often. For example, hipsters used to be known to buy all their cloths at thrift stores. But, because hipsters are "anti-trends," this activity is slowly dying amongst them. They have become aware of the popularity of the practice and hence, of its trendiness. Hipster culture is fluid and ever-changing because it is based on maintaining the appearance of diversity and difference. Therefore, hipsters can never be defined by the cloths they wear, the [music] they listen to, the places they go, or the topics they discuss. Here are the necessary conditions for being a hipster: (a) you must think that you are extremely different from everyone else, (b) you must think that you are in the intellectual elite and that you have a unique perspective on things, (c) you must try to be as ironic as possible, and act and think like you have the most obscure and elite taste in [music], [art], literature, and fashion, (d) you must go to parties with [people] who answer criterions a, b, and c (if you don’t surround yourself with other “different” and “unique” [people], who are you going to be an "untrendy" hipster with?), and most importantly (e) You must never think of yourself or identity as - a hipster!! Note that this is where things become a bit more complicated. If the hipster becomes aware of the [paradox] of being a hipster (self-negating, “anti-trend” trend), then they can start identifying themselves as hipsters and by doing so they would be ironic and different in comparison to everyone else in the hipster scene, who have yet to discover their self-negating natures! This [will] cause an infinite regression within the hipster, because you cannot identify yourself as a hipster in order to be a hipster, but by calling yourself a hipster and being aware of the paradox, you are being a complete hipster, but you cannot be a hipster if you identify as [one]...and so forth...into eternity.
David: I took a [karate] class in [college], I wear designer cloths, I ironically work at a dry cleaners store, I got a 1600 on my [SAT], and I like Merzbow, Joy Division, and Slayer Tom: You’re a hipster David: No I’m not!
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