What's on your mug?

verb - to succeed or [triumph], especially against disciplined experienced professionals, despite making a [farce] of an effort, doing every conceivable [thing] towards that end wrongly and actively sabotaging yourself.

I have no political experience or training. I switched political parties 8 years ago and became a conspiracy theorist. I am the most disliked person ever to seek that office. I copied the Nazis' platform. I stole my campaign slogan from 30 years ago. I was vulgar. I lied so badly and often that fact-checkers stopped researching my claims. My policies were empty platitudes or impossible. I contradicted myself and was an obvious hypocrite. My speeches were incoherent, sleep-deprived [brain] farts. I [burnt] every social, business and political [bridge] I could. I alienated every demographic. Senior members of my own party refused to support me. I encouraged treason, bragged about sexual assault and mused about murdering someone in cold [blood]. I hid my taxes. I called [war] heroes cowards and taunted their families. I am dangerously incompetent and mentally unstable. I [bombed] all the debates while on [cocaine]. Not a single reputable entity endorsed me. The KKK endorsed me, and I wouldn't disavow them. I was out-fundraised, out-advertised and almost bankrupt. My Internet access was taken away to [stop] my 3 AM tirades. Almost every poll during the campaign had me losing. Gamblers gave me [100]-to-1 odds. There was [nobody] to get out my vote. There is not one reason why I should have won that election. Anyone else would have been arrested and exiled from public life forever. But I won. I trumped it!

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