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God

God is a person who claims that he wrote 'n published 3 books called the old testament, the new testament and quran. God has different perspectives for his 3 main friends. For the first friend he claimed that his name was Yehova or something like that, his first friend's name was Moses, he also wrote his first book at that time the old testament. Then after a while he came again (he prolly did not like the situation that he made) and found a new friend called Jesus this time, then he made agreements with Jesus to give his copyrights on the new testament. The book was published 400 ad and sold millions (prolly copyrights brought tons of profit to god and Jesus). Finally god came to the same place once again the mid-east (what a nice coincidence he always hangs out in there) . This time he said ''my name is Allah and yours is Mohammed, so let's start writing about the same thing but this time with different rules and nuance differences'' Mohammed said ''kool'' and they wrote the quran this time. God has always denied his friendship with Buddha and always said he did not send anything like a guy from China or whatever that area is called. There are also suspicions about the paternal relations between God and Jesus.

-man i'm tellin' u, u gotta talk to this person and prove it to people all around u, then they start believing and worshipping u. - what is his name??? - dude he has lots of names, you can call him god, allah or shortly something not offensive. -man where can i find him?? -not in here though, you gotta go buy a one way ticket to the mid-east/ - i aint goin there!

By el turco

god

1. chuck norris. don't deny, don't hate. or else he will come after you. 2. reason of much political strife and stress. lets agree to not agree and both stfu. 3. dood hoo haz a lawt of mispeled definashuns. 4. person with his own channel on TV and owns millions of houses worldwide-just look for the fat priest. 5. creator of men, women, and Billy Mays 6. dude who died on friday, tough. 7. your boss.

1. peace and love. 2. who cares if he exists or not, shut up, we don't care. 3. seriously, I'd love to see the 5-yr olds' parents' faces if they saw their kids on here. 4. he's there, and probably your best chance at getting legally drunk, just ask for the blessed blood or whatever. 5. God bless his soul. 6. reborn on sunday, no less. where'd the weekend go? 7. and what an asshole he is.

By No more names

god

im quoting George carlin on this one! god is "an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you."

Kid: grandma what does god look like? Grandma: no one knows Kid: grandma how do u know what he wants u to do? Grandma: dont u dare question gods existance!!! Kid: o.O Grandma:if u doubt him hell send u to hell Kid: why? Grandma: because he loves you! Kid: o.O

By i hate idiots 199

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