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Edward Cullen

n. person, Ed-ward Cull-en : A fictional character/ monster made up in the diseased imagination of an old, horny woman. He is said to sparkle when in the sun, for some odd, non- understandable reason. He is in the dreams of millions of teenage girls and their mothers. His followers are called Twi-hards, and are attracted to him by some telepathic connection, which makes them want a vampire, who writes bad poetry, as a husband. His fictional, worst enemy, is a werewolf, named Jacob, who has nice teeth (Many suspect them to be gay lovers). The fact or impression they are gay lovers is dashed by his love of 14-year old girls. Whom, he stares at while they sleep, with what many call in rapey fashion.

Twi-hard - "I got a message from "Edward Cullen" last night Twi-hard 2 - " Really, what was it?" Twi-hard - " He wants me to meet or turn me, I hope!" Twi-hard 2 - "You are soooo lucky!" Twi-hard - "I know!!!!!"

By Mr. Spam

Edward Cullen

He’s the kind of psychotic guy with many issues who sneaks into girls’ bedrooms to watch them sleep. Apparently he suffers from a horrible disease in which he believes he is a “vampire”, yet also a 108 year old teenage boy. As you can see, this very charming and handsome fuckboy will lure girls such as Isabella Swan to suffer from thinking she would rather die than be away from him.

Bella Swan: OMG EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HANDSOME!!!! Sksksksksk Random person: wtf

By Kihara Pseudonym

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