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Townie

(See Also ned) To describe townies as the scum of the earth would be understating the obvious. If you are not sure whether or not you are a townie, you probably are. If you can read this your are probably not. In the case of any conflict, the following rules apply. 1) All Townies believe they are "well 'ard." This is demonstrated in several ways, including offering non-verbal abuse at CCTV cameras, intimidating people when in large groups, and throwing things at passing animals. When questioned a townie never knows why he does these things, but feels that they prove he/she is "well 'ard" 2) A Townie is never actually "well 'ard." Confront one you have seperated from the pack, and the intimidating behavior will stop. On their own they are more scared of you than you are of them. 3) In a fight they attack in packs, and with weapons. This is only in the rare case of a "combat pack" of townies. Most packs will shy away from violence altogether. 4) Though Townies will generally have minimal education, those who have been educated are often taught menial labour, such as carpentry or bricklaying. This is an unfortunate slur on legitimate builders and carpenters, and the majority of townies will spend their life In Mcdonalds or other fast food vocation. Female Townies will invariably be taught in Hair and Beauty care. They do this on the pretence that they aren't following the pack, but are simply doing what all other female townies do. This is again an unfortunate slur on those who choose hairdressing as a legitimate career. 5) Townies smoke. Without exception. 6) Townies will dress in fake burberry, and fake designer goods. All of their clothing is bought for 50p per item from the dodgyest bloke in the local market. The problem of Townies is getting worse. Due to the fact that they begin to breed at 12, and have no concept of birth control, they are becoming uncontrolable in our society. The two options open are to simply ensure our own offspring are never allowed to join the townies, and wait for them to die off of their own accord, or a mass cull.

Townie: "alright mayte! is this real burberry?" Market trader: "I just love these Townies"

By Steven Davenport

Townie

A native of Boston, but NOT Boston proper. Charlestown, "Chucktown", South Boston and certain parts of Dorchester are townie habitats. Boston is an upper -middle class,International, cosmopolitan city. Townies are working class guys who live in the neighborhood they grew up in. Townies consider themselves to have come from a section of a neighborhood, the West Side of South Boston for instance, rather than from Boston. A lower-class Townie may have grown up in the "bricks", a public housing project. They did not attend college and are usually, although not always, Irish Catholic.

THE DEPARTED, MYSTIC RIVER, SOUTHIE and THE TOWN are films set in Townie Boston. "Where did you go to school"? "Tobin High, I'm a townie!" "Where are you from?" "Andrew Square." "Where?" "Southie." "WTF is a Chuckie?" "A guy from Charlestown."

By postemotional

townie

ahh townies how i do loath them they even invade the country u d think you d be safe on the isle of wight but no its infested this is most noticeable in the ryde area wher there are alot of "dirty goffiks" as we are lovingly knowen as they spend their friday and saturday nights drinking cheap cyder in the ice rink or crappy pubs at the bottom of the high street and the hanging round outside the royal squadron the "batty goffs" pub looking for a fight. I pity them they are goning to grow up as nothing and live sad lives trying to immitate the bratz doll collection and failing misarbly most of the females look like they ve been used to clean a toilet and the boys look like they got dressed in the dark. What is the constant obbsession with starting on alteritives and goths all we do is sit smoke and try 2 learn at school and they r always homophobic what do they have against gays and bis. townies are a disease and there should be a vacination.

my argument with stupid townie slapper: townie:r u a goff? me:no i m jus spectrumly challenged townie:wha?!?!? u starting me:no but you have the personality of an apple Townie:(after long time)but... apples dnt hav personalities me:exsactly Townie:stupid dirty goffik and ur a dyke 2 u scab me:yup u gotta a problem townie:(after bout 5 min) shut up (then walks off looking confused)

By taryn

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