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A young male who will give up countless hours listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends who talk about their apathetic, Baywatch [jock] of a boyfriend because he actually believes listening and genuinely caring is going to eventually get him laid. Although always surrounded by beautiful [girls], the nice guy can’t get a [girlfriend] or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because he himself will always compare his “ordinary” physical appearance to the Baywatch beach [bum]’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to [help] his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is. The female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a [man] if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features because for her it's better than dealing with a [man] that will grovel at her feet when she tries to break up with him because he doesn't understand how pathetic and transparent appeasement really is. The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all [one]-sided long before he realizes that putting up the effort to deal with a shallow, materialistic bitch is worth even so much as [one] ounce of his [time] and energy. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will never even think about dating a nice guy in the future, which in turn will make the every other nice guy on the planet feel even more depressed because they all devote so much [time] and energy to being exactly what many other shallow, materialistic [bitches] know how to avoid men who are warped from being exposed to rejection they'll never understand to the point that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit. The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that nice guys primarily notice the physical appearances of other men and become insanely jealous to the point where they believe shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner [beauty]” because they never realize they are driving these women [straight] into the arms of these assholes, usually because they don't understand that always being nice makes every nice act completely meaningless and disgenuine for a woman because that's all they do [24]/7.

"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday." "[Well], if you need me I'll be at [home], crying myself to [sleep] while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex while playing some ps2 because all I know how to do is be a sickly sweet doormat and feel sorry for myself. Please love me with your pity."

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