The language that former Pres. George W. Bush is still trying to learn.
Bush's rape of the English language: "They misunderestimated me." "Education is my top priority. However, education is not my top priotrity." "Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. "
By Eliyon
the most expressive language on the face of the earth. although widely insulted for it's strange spelling and grammar, no other major language on earth can convey ideas as precisely or as diversely as the english language. This is largely because of the huge amount of words that make up the english language, which dwarfs the vocabularies of other languages by comparison. it's name is derived from the anglo-saxons. anglo-saxon--->anglish--->english
as a kid i grew up speaking spanish. thankfully, i learned english and now i only speak spanish when i have no other choice.
By bobertdude
A language that only really intelligent people know how to speak correctly.
That person speaks English correctly! Wow, how smart!
By myselfmadeit
A. The main language spoken in the British Isles, the USA, Canada and Australia. B. A person who comes from England. There are 4 main types of English person: 1. The Posh Nob The steroetypical english person who died out in the 1800s. Typically seen as well spoken, wearing a bowler hat and moustache, and swiping away poor people with his cane. 2. The Farmer Typical of most rural places in England. Normally an overweight middle-aged man wearing dirty overalls and a straw hat. Most common phrases are "Ooo-ar!" and any swearword concievable. Not as gentle as they look. 3. The Chav A growing breed of English person. Loud, aggressive, obsessed with their looks and becoming a 'gangsta'. Normal IQ is about 31. Reproduces at an alarming rate. 4. The Non-English English Person That asian bloke who runs the Off-Licence. For any American readers there is an easy way to tell the difference between the English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh. This is vital if you wish to tour the UK in one piece: 1. Irish people get drunk and fight each other. 2. English people get drunk and shag each other. 3. Welsh people get drunk and shag sheep. 4. Scottish people get drunk and fight each other. Then they sober up and continue to fight each other.
English Type 1. "I say ol' chap, that's just not on - what what?" English Type 2. "'Ere, I 'eard them fucking Polish are movin' down ar way . . ." English Type 3. "Yerwot M8?! Come over 'er and say that yer fuckin' wanker!" English Type 4. The non-American version of Apu from the Simpsons.
By Too Much Time to Waste
to paraphrase from Pulp Fiction:
Sammy L. Jackson: "Hey brad, where you from?" Brad:"What?" SLJ: "What? hmm, do they speak english in what?" B: "What?" SLJ:"english, muthafucka, do uoi speak it?" B: "What?" SLJ: "Say 'what' again.." brandishes weapon B: "What?" SLJ: shoots B in arm.
By muddy shnuckles