Canada's History mug

Canada's History is a sex act in which a live moose is hunted down with the aid of Sarah Palin (a master tracker and rogue) and viciously murdered by decapitation with a jagged hockey stick. After defiling the moose head further by teabagging the head several times (and not with Early Grey, but your genitals), it is ready for sex. The antlers are rammed up the anus of the female while Grade A Canadian maple syrup is slathered over the balls of the man who is simultaneously stuffing the moose's mouth with his shaft. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin hardly wants to miss out on the action so she goes rogue by jamming the other side of the antlers (opposite end is butt spelunking the female) up her vagina far enough to perform a self-abortion on her unwanted baby. After everyone has finished and Palin has enlarged her vaginal orifice another 2 inches, the moose head is discarded in a finely polished Stanley Cup. It is then sent to the home of Stephen Colbert for tedious inspection to make sure that every moose head was used to its fullest extent. Stephen does not accept the moose head in anything but the Stanley Cup as it is the only vessel prestigious enough for his liking. As a health advisory, it is generally necessary to check up with your doctor before performing Canada's History with your partner as it can lead to serious diseases such as severe diarrhea, Colbertitis, mad moose disease, and a neurological disorder known as The Palins which generally leads to mental retardation.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

  • Glossy ceramic, 11 oz
  • Vivid artwork fused into the finish, not a vinyl decal
  • Microwave and dishwasher safe
  • Word on front, definition on back
  • Approximately 3.8" tall
  • Every order personally reviewed
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"

GOD Sep 21

Its.. omg, its............. AMAZING AMAZING OMG ITS SOOO GOOD

desfhueshd e. Sep 21

A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend

Yolanda Linares Sep 19

Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy

Jackoof Sep 18

ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life

ariana grande is a queen Sep 18

It was easy to correct grammar when necessary, and then to order a great gift for a member of a wedding party. Nice, simple, and sturdy mug.

Etan N. Sep 18
✓ Verified Purchase

with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.

Yeet Skeet Sep 17

Love that I got an Urban Dictionary word definition from someone I know! So much fun and great memory item!! 😊

Jamie W. Sep 15
✓ Verified Purchase

I like it but it took a long time getting here

Bruce M. Sep 15
✓ Verified Purchase

Very basic mug but does the trick!

Daniel B. Sep 14
✓ Verified Purchase

The mug is of good quality but advertisement needs to change as the sample photo for ordering gives the customer an illusion that the entire mug is of that color ordered when it is not

Melissa L. Sep 13
✓ Verified Purchase

muffinism mug very bold mug i love it u should buy one

numpty muffin Sep 12

Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.

buyin'dumbmugs Sep 10
Review by Jada D.

The fact you guys make custom mugs is the most hilarious yet smartest thing ever, thank you so much I'm definitely gonna collect these and chuckle at the crazy words/terms only I will understand the depth of! 😂

Jada D. Sep 10
✓ Verified Purchase

Nice, but I need the “Reservation Dogs” version of “Aho!”

Richard B. Sep 10
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The mug is a gift for our Fantasy Football league winner…or loser. I'm not sure yet; it's a bit of a spoof that will be disclosed on Thanksgiving.

Kimberly S. Sep 10
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by Stephanie K.

Love it just like your ranking to be noticed at 4 to stabilize with bots at 5 but looks real

Stephanie K. Sep 9
✓ Verified Purchase

Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid

LmN Sep 8

My real first name is Ancil and I must say this is by far the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life and I love you all.

Ancil B. Sep 8

YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT

Ligma balls bitch Sep 6
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