blood bowl mug
HISTORY: Blood bowls, now commonly practiced only in northern Austria, mainly consist of massive male self-mutilation accompanied by female menstruation. The combination of the two was pioneered in 1879 by Grover Cleveland, and was a major selling point during his 1885 presidential campaign. Following his election into office, the "blood bowling" practice spread overseas, being particularly well-received by Austria and Germany, both well known for occasionally delving into dark sexual practices. Following Cleveland's first term, he attempted to shift his political focus from blood bowls to more controversial topics as definition of human rights, but was met with a loss. Cleveland subsequently returned to his roots, reportedly engaging in anywhere from thirty to fifty blood bowls a day. His second attempt at a second term, in 1893, was a success - he took to performing blood bowls in public, rousing his supporters into an unstoppable rage of gory arousal. Four years of debauchery followed Grover Cleveland's reelection, but the exhaustion of his service proved to be the undoing of his sinister sexual practice. Blood bowling's popularity dropped rapidly in all regions of the world except northern Austria, where it is still "enjoyed" to this day. PROCEDURE: Blood bowls, which must be undertaken in any sort of large bowl or urn (hence the name), are commonly, yet logically associated with sadomasochism. The male must begin the ritual by first severing his erect penis at the head, spilling pints of blood into the urn. Once a healthy puddle has accumulated, the female must present her own offering - plunging a knife repeatedly into the walls of her menstruating genitalia. At this point, the female's work is finished, but the male must continue to mutilate his manhood, utilizing any grotesque method his imagination can provide. Once he feels he has done sufficient work, he inserts himself into the female as he would for normal intercourse - note that at this point, the bowl in which he and his partner are copulating should be drenched in blood at least three inches in depth. As a result of the mutual genital deformation, intercourse is accompanied by blinding pain. Masochists, therefore, take great pleasure in the experience.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
- Glossy ceramic, 11 oz
- Vivid artwork fused into the finish, not a vinyl decal
- Microwave and dishwasher safe
- Word on front, definition on back
- Approximately 3.8" tall
- Every order personally reviewed
- Returns & defect-free guarantee
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Customer Reviews
the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"
Its.. omg, its............. AMAZING AMAZING OMG ITS SOOO GOOD
A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend
Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
It was easy to correct grammar when necessary, and then to order a great gift for a member of a wedding party. Nice, simple, and sturdy mug.
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
Love that I got an Urban Dictionary word definition from someone I know! So much fun and great memory item!! 😊
I like it but it took a long time getting here
Very basic mug but does the trick!
The mug is of good quality but advertisement needs to change as the sample photo for ordering gives the customer an illusion that the entire mug is of that color ordered when it is not
muffinism mug very bold mug i love it u should buy one
Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.
The fact you guys make custom mugs is the most hilarious yet smartest thing ever, thank you so much I'm definitely gonna collect these and chuckle at the crazy words/terms only I will understand the depth of! 😂
Nice, but I need the “Reservation Dogs” version of “Aho!”
The mug is a gift for our Fantasy Football league winner…or loser. I'm not sure yet; it's a bit of a spoof that will be disclosed on Thanksgiving.
Love it just like your ranking to be noticed at 4 to stabilize with bots at 5 but looks real
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
My real first name is Ancil and I must say this is by far the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life and I love you all.
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT