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Defecation immediately upon waking. Morning Deuce Syndrome (MDS) is characterized by the following symptoms: sharp abdominal pains, excessive flatulence and/or swamp ass, and general irritability. Dr. Marc Pierson, a world-renowned researcher from the Paris Institute of Gastroenterology, offers the following advice for those suffering from MDS: "Yeah, so I ran some tests and well, they came back positive. It looks like you've got Morning Deuce Syndrome. The real kicker is, you may never sleep in again."
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