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A religion founded around our great Ogrelord, Shrek. We show our loyalty to him by praying to Shrek every day. It is crucially [important] that everyone in the religion make a Shrek shrine and pray to it. If not you will be at a shrekoning. A shrekoning is when Shrek comes to your house and kills you with his holy onions. If you pay to Shrek every day, he may call upon you to go to [the great] onion temple. When your go there, always at night, Shrek will Shrek you along with four others. [This is a] holy occasion and is held twice a month, on the first Tuesday and the last Thursday.
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