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An [unfortunate] and incurable [medical condition]. Symptoms include: very old age, annoying behavior, forgetfullness, nostalgia for yesteryear, crankiness, crustiness, long-winded email writing, and a pot-bellied appearance. But mostly just old, very old, age and the innate ability to effortlessly annoy anyone within earshot. Nelsheimers patients often appear [disoriented] and just keep asking for "a little black caulk." No one is sure exactly how the disease is transmitted, but the CDC reports a recent north Florida outbreak appears to have been linked to a rusty old pitcher pump.
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