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You are a Russian if: 1-your body [composition] is 75% vodka. 2-you skip classes,watch porn,go [night clubbing] and somehow still get A in Maths and Science exams. 3-the only English sentence you know is "Fuck you",yet you boast about pretendin' [you're the shit]. 4-you are way too overpatriotic to your country,but find excuses to not getting your ass out and contribute something to it. 5-you have an unusual obsession to techno music,guns,cars,crack and mafias.
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