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A rhythm found in [emergency] departments, predominantly in the western and southwestern [United States]. "Tach" is slang for the prefix "tachy-", which means "abnormally rapid". CONTEXT: Where V-Tach (ventricular tachycardia - an "an abnormally fast heart rate orginating from the bottom of the heart") is a lethal heart rhythm, I-Tach is not lethal... just annoying. INCIDENCE: I-Tach is most common among elderly Hispanic females -- with a hangnail, a rash, painful urination, or some other dire "[emergency]" -- with 370 relatives surrounding the gurney upon which she lay. USES: It is used both to gain familial sympathy and to coerce the medical staff to leave the bedside of [heart attack], gunshot wound, or similarly trivial patients, and promptly attend to her "emergency" [instead]. Abuelita comes in at 3 a.m. with an emergency rash on her ass she's had for three weeks. She lies quietly behind her curtain for forty minutes without uttering a sound... then family shows up. And more family. And more. Suddenly, abuelita begins... "Ayyyye... Ayyyye... AyyYai..... ¡Ayuda mi, Dios!... AyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAye. Yaiyaiyai..YaiYaiYaiYaiYai.. Ayyyyyyee!" Witnessing this, you yell out mockingly...
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