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The person [driving the Subaru] in front of you, most typically found in and around Boulder Colorado, carefully monitoring their speed to be driving 10 mph less than the posted speed limit such that the faux [golden retriever] mutt that they picked up at the Humane Society doesn’t get car sick after its recent canine acupuncture treatment. A Subahole} can also be found parked [indefinitely] at stoplights because of their inability to move their foot from the brake petal to the accelerator before the light turns red again; caused by the confusion of the incoherent rhythms of the Phish song playing on their car stereo. This phenomenon has resulted in the common bumper sticker: “Boulder, Colorado: An Asshole Who Can’t Drive in Every Subaru”.
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