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Ramen intrigues me.
Nothing is cooler in my mind than being a ramen chef, what I’d call a ramen master. [It’s] the type of thing that has gurus, not [professionals].
I want to whip up ramen and wolf it down. It comes with its own set of verbs.

Whip.

Wolf.

Slurp.

Sweat.

Viscosity made for sick days to beat [chicken soup]. Umami. Umami. Umami. That’s what the fancy shmancy chefs call it. Shmancy must be added because ramen laughs at itself a little – probably as a result of its instant noodle child, the brunt of all jokes about slummy college dorm rooms.

Ramen’s other relative, udon, gives me a feeling in my mouth that’s contagious to my gut. Say it big and grinning now, with vowels deep: U-DON. Like UMAMI. Or my friend’s dog DUKE. It’s the sound of the long u that does it for me. Makes me feel like I’m talking to a bear or a whale.
Ramen is similar, but it makes me feel like I am the bear.
It feels like a breathy breath out, when you exhale [from the back] of your throat to mimic the sound of a crowd in a stadium. Thousands of people cheering.

I picture chopsticks scooping, stuffing, folding. Fat dissolved and noodles flowing. Ruggedness, [companionship], wiliness.
The discipline of a monk and the callousness of a dog. Dogged. But it sounds like BEAR.

I’m going to be a ramen guru.

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