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Located on an oceanside cliff in sunny La Jolla, UC San Diego is one of the world's top institutions for producing researchers, innovators, and awkward engineers. It is consistently ranked #1 by Washington Monthly, a magazine that nobody reads. As California's unofficial science department, UCSD research discovered the first evidence for [climate change], the cause of diabetes, and a colony of endangered ants living in Chancellor Khosla's mustache. Its mascot, King Triton, is well-known as the most badass eunuch of all time. UC San Diego is minutes from most of San Diego's world-class attractions. But if you're looking for UCSD students, you'll find them napping at Black's Beach wishing they could surf, waiting in line at TapEx, or hiding from [social interaction] in Geisel Library. Despite not having a [football team], students find things to do, like studying for midterms between raves. UCSD was designed with a unique six-college system, to give freshmen an easy [conversation starter]. These colleges (Revelle, Muir, Marshall, Warren, Roosevelt, Sixth) are considered pretty equal, except for Sixth. Campus-wide traditions like the legendary Sun God Festival unite the colleges as one university. Out of its 200,000 graduates, UCSD has produced exactly four famous alumni: Nick Woodman, who founded GoPro, and those three interchangeable Asians from Wong Fu Productions. The other 199,996 are all out there somewhere, still complaining about not having gotten into Berkeley.
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