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Clearly this is a bro from the bay. You can spot him in his [natural habitat], tinder. Or some lesser-known app, like bumble. He used to like Obama. Sometimes, his quaff cascades down to his perfectly groomed beard that falls all the way to the second button on his freshly pressed flannel. He rocks [the shit out of] earbuds around his neck all day, every day; gotta let you know he's in tech. [Ain't no way] he's drinkin' bud light made by the man. Instead he'll just stick to his PBR (hairflip). If you you see this bro, he'll be wearing a free tshirt (that he paid for) even though his salary could buy a house next to his parents' in Marin.
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