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(Noun) A sudden, explosive movement of the lower bowel that's barely arrested by a strong and nimble brown eye sphincter. However, the casualty's lucky break is short-lived as the ordeal becomes a private and painful contest between [voluntary] and involuntary strength. Symptoms vary by severity and may be evidenced by an awkward forward gait produced by [one or more] of [the following] conditions: Clenched buttocks, locked out knees, stiffened toes and protruding upward, a upward-tilted pelvis, grunting/moaning, wild eyes, a sense of impending doom or hopelessness, and unremitting inquiries for nearest bathroom, broom closet, back-alley, or car wash. Untreated, this condition invariably leads to Sharting.
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