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Hey are you a nerd? Do you like a bunch of [worthless shit]? Do you like a bunch of junk on your desk? So much junk you cant even put [what you need] on it. Do you like pop culture references on cafe press quality t-shirts? A ninja VS pirate mouse pad! Wow sweet,awesomesauce! Do you like Doctor Who? Who doctor doesn't?! Are you deranged?! Introducing Loot Crate! A service that allows you to get junky stuff every month in your mail! Just imagine every month a loot crate by your house filled with little trinkets..Never stopping! NEVER WILL STOP..Increasing with junk every month! There is no more room in the house! Garbage all over, boxes and [packing peanuts] no room to spare. We have cheap plastic and you have an obsession! It's only $25 a month and you get a package every single fucking month. Also don't forget to make a shitty unboxing video of you attempting to hide how disappointed you are. Waiting for something you ACTUALLY LIKE!
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