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A paradoxical adolescent mustache which is neither present nor absent. Characterized by thin, uncultivated strands of short hair which sprout beneath the nose, probably members of the nosehair family, the Schrödingerstache confers upon its owner a mixture of creepiness and awkwardness. Legend has it that the Schrödingerstache was [discovered] as the product of an unholy [collaboration] between quantum physicist Erwin Schrödinger and [facial hair] expert King Gillette.
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