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Absol, a Dark-type Pokemon registered as the 359th Pokemon in the National Pokedex, is well-known for appearing before catastrophes occur, often [natural disasters]. While these poor creatures can often be blamed for causing the trouble, the truth is that they're capable of sensing subtle changes in the weather with the horns protruding from the right sides of their heads, so they try to warn people, but, being a Pokemon, an Absol can [pretty much] only say "Absol Absol Absol," making for a truly [unfortunate] situation if this Pokemon is misunderstood.

Another notable comment that must be made about Absol is the mind-boggling beauty that this species possesses. To [understand] this, recall two of the most important qualities of the sky, those being the enlivening rush of innocent purity that it can send coursing through one's heart on a perfect summer day, and its power in the night to capture a soul and set it on fire to burn with the deep & mysterious intensity of innumerable stars suspended in a [vast] sea of the most wondrous shade of blue. You see, the Disaster Pokemon, Absol, captures this intense majesty in all of its 47 inches & 103.6 pounds of white & dark blue, vaguely feline splendor.

Oh, and the typical lifespan of an Absol is easily 100 years.

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