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[Have you ever] wanted to bone your girlfriend but your dick is too damn floppy? Well look no further! With viagra, you can get your dick as [hard as a diamond]. Even the Bohr's hardness scale would make it an eleven. Viagra can help you: at the store, at home, at your parents houses, at school, or even in front of your mother. You can even play fetch with your dog! Now go-- [your grandmother] is awaiting your newly bonified dick.
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