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A premise of connected bullshit online [advertisements] that claim to give you things you simply can't have, for a simple monthly fee along with your [personal information], which undoubtedly transmits through a secure, non virus-contaminated [internet connection] that's not being patrolled 24/7 by identity thieves. They offer things like bigger penises and slimmer waistlines because they want to make an offer no one's ever thought of before!
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