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A completely automated eletro-mechanical apparatus used for swift, sterile and efficient [masturbation].  The Bolmph-o-tronic-bolmph-o-matic-bolmpherizer-XL-GT-3400; or B.three-fo as it is known on [the streets] consist primarily of a polished titanium cylinder [approximately] 34 centimeters (14 inches) in length and 10 cm (4in) wide.  Designed to slide over most human penises.  At the end of this cylinder is a clear plastic tube like the kind film comes in.  The second part of this invention is the chair which looks like a La-Z-Boy recliner with a metal trash can mounted on the side, motorcylce-like helmet that is pulled over your head, and a cup holder for your beer.  When activated a number of micro sized hydraulics, servos and actuators that massage the penis in the same way a vagina would.  The temperature and humidity inside the cylinder is also regulated.  The helmet is pulled down over the user's head and he is immersed in a 3D environment where the brain scan reveals and creates his ultimate [sexual fantasy].  When the user ejaculates it is captured in a small plastic container that can be cryo stored for later or dumped in to the "trash can" where it is vaporized by a lazer that is powered by a pico matter/antimatter reactor.

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