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Common term for a work colleague (often male) who displays one or more of the following traits:
-	Spends more than 4 hours each day sitting [on the toilet], without removing his pants, with no intention of actually [going to the toilet], although for some reason still insists on tearing off dozens of pieces of toilet paper and flushing them as part of his ‘cover’
-	Eats warm garbage before coming in to work each morning
-	Types with two fingers, as hard as possible
-	Rolls over on colleagues whenever something goes wrong and throws them in front of the bus
-	Occasionally gets caught [jerking off] in the fire stairwell
-	Models his haircut on members from the band ‘one direction’
-	Obsessive overuse of the words ‘obviously’ and ‘key’, even when something isn’t obvious, or even remotely relevant for that matter.
-	Is paid in the order of 300% above industry standards for other people of similar aptitude and [intelligence]
-	Has no friends
-	Bares a striking resemblance to ‘The Hamburgular”

-	Stores his semen (from his numerous daily stairwell jerk offs) in Dixie cups, with the intention of one day raising an unholy army of ‘little rizzlers’ to do his bidding
-	Has every edition of GQ committed to memory
-	Occasionally murders German backpackers and stores them under his floorboards

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