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A Daniel is a tease. There isn't any easy way to explain this, but that inexplicable curiosity you gather around a piece of news is something the Daniel feeds on. For those concerned about this, fear not, it is the most friendly kind of creature [one] stumbles across and will defend you from invisible purple bastards, you know, the kind you have had to deal with your entire life as a character in Planetside. Some leading researchers on the Daniel have [discovered] this process of feeding is akin to [Photosynthesis] in the same way the plant traps protons of energy into its cell organelles, the Daniel will also feed off your curiousity by trapping it in his cells. [Unfortunately] for the Daniel, this curiousity - sustenance- causes itchiness and a large rash of poka dots escapes onto his arms if he has absorbed too much of your curiosity. The Daniel has become a specialized creature of the tease, as explained above, his very being is intertwined with the act of teasing.
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