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A pub is somewhere you should feel [comfortable] to spend the whole day and even take children during earlier hours. It should be a cosy place, decorated in a friendly and welcoming manner, if a little naff. There should be games available such as pool, darts and a quiz machine. The better ones will even have dominoes, chess and backgammon sets behind the bar. There ought to be a jukebox around with the entire Led Zeppelin discography or at least get the lads to bring their guitars and fiddles and we'll kick up a tune ourselves.

If you're there at lunchtime hours expect pies, fish & chips and a half-decent tikka masala to be available, if your in during later hours than you'll have to make do with crisps, [pickled onions] and Scotch eggs. If [you're good] mates with the landlord, however, he may be willing to make you a sandwich when you're absolutely tanked at 1.[30 am].

If the pub takes even the least amount of pride in [what they do] there will be a good choice of real ales such as Hobgoblin and Old Tom served at cellar temperature as these actually taste of something unlike near-frozen mass-produced lagers. The good ol' water-of-life should be in abundance be it Irish, Scotch, Bourbon or otherwise. In short, a pub is the very focal point of civilised society.

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