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{stat – ute - uv - lim – i – tay – shuns}: The agreement, usually nonverbal and not always legally formalized, that occurs between husband and wife shortly after (before?) marriage. It lays out his limitations. Following are some standard clauses (No, not Nicholas or Martha): 1. Football Limitation: 1 day per week 2. Guys Night Out Limitation: 1 night per month 3. Trash Detail Limitation: NONE. Husbands are always on trash detail 4. Bikini Ogling Limitation: NEVER unless it’s the wife in the bikini - Or you’re certain she’ll never find out 5. Alcohol Intake Limitation: a. 1 glass wine daily with dinner b. 1 six-pack beer for [Monday Night Football] c. Exception: 2 six-pack beer for [Monday Night Football] if you have a buddy over or the wife is feeling generous. d. 2 large glasses [expensive] champagne – 1 time/year on anniversaries
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