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Sugar free gummy bears are the reason your ass will turn into a brown Niagara falls. After eating about 20 of them all hell broke loose in my bowels. In my bowels, something was happening that I never imagined could have happened to me. Sweating, cramps, bloating. I've ate Indian curry, and the end result was like smelling daisies in a meadow compared to the end result of eating sugar free gummy bears. Then came the flatulence, DEAR GOD THE FLATULENCE. The sounds were like trumpets calling demons from the pit of hell. The stench was worse than that of a thousand rotting corpses. One more minute in that bathroom and I would have died of choking on my own putrid fumes. What came out of me felt like someone trying to funnel Niagara falls through a coffee straw. AND IT LASTED FOR HOURS. I felt so violated when it was over.
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