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an analogy for observantly tuning into the needs of someone around you who is very [wrapped up] in their own shit or maybe others people's shit, so much so that without even knowing it they could really use someone to step in and help them with all that shit. Maybe you're just being a [good friend] and your friend can be a bit of a space cadet so you regularly steer them away from walking into traffic even when you think they might be paying attention. That counts too. If you didn't step in and "stir their onions" those [metaphorical] onions might burn. Those onions could even be literal, thus where the term was coined.
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