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Shopping basket confidence is the amount of confidence one has in the ability of the basket to hold all items that will be purchased on a trip inside the [grocery store]. This variable confidence score is used to determine whether the shopper will use a shopping basket or opt for a cart. Shopping basket confidence is generally very high at the front of the store prior to loading any items in said basket. The confidence level decreases rapidly however as the patron wanders aimlessly about the store picking up items they suddenly [remembered] were necessary in order to make it til the next trip. The patron must then decide to either leave without getting all required items or suffer the ultimate [humiliation] by going back to the front of the store and getting a cart. The level of shame at that moment is exactly proportional to the previous shopping basket confidence.

It should be noted that men generally have higher shopping basket confidence than women. They tend to believe they can fit enough supplies into the shoebox size basket to wage an expedition to [the North Pole]. It is also generally accepted that the bigger hurry you are in the more shopping basket confidence you have.

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