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Literally one of the smallest and richest towns on Long Island. The people here are [filthy rich] Irish [Republicans]. The teens are all over-sheltered, spoiled and sometimes weirdos because they have been sent to catholic schools by their racist parents in lieu of the great and diverse Malverne School District. The town is bordered by Lynbrook and West Hempstead. Everyone here eats bagels and Pizza. We all LOVE Danny's Bagels. You will find thicker long island accents here and expensive sports cars parked in front of beautiful, yet modestly sized homes. Everyone has been to Malverne Cinema and has watched Malverne Mel on [groundhog day]. The teens all go to Lynbrook and West Hempstead to hang out and party because there's too many old people in Malverne. We have our own tiny police department made up of overpaid and under-worked officers who confiscate teens [skateboards], harass the minority kids who go to the public schools, and wait for speeders on Ocean Avenue. Everyone knows everyone and there is an extreme community vibe here. An all around great place to live in the end.

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