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1) Noun. A small fishing boat docking out of Vietnam. Typical crew of less than 10. Mainly used in a fishing fleet or as a single family's source of income/sustenance.

2) Noun. [One of the most] vile sexual acts conceivable. Uniquely available only to one who's penis abruptly curves at a right angle. The male stands with his torso facing [perpendicular] to his companion. The receiver grabs their own ankles for support as the aggressor penetrates from the unlikely angle. Theories are abundant but the generally accepted hypothesis is that the unique vibrations created during intercourse at such an angle triggers complete and utter bowel evacuation. In any case, the Vietnamese Schooner results in egregious amounts of feces 100% of the time.

NOTE:
Interestingly, it is possible to perform a Vietnamese Schooner aboard a Vietnamese Schooner. This has only been attempted twice, both times in [international waters]. All participants were killed instantly upon climax. The crew, captain, and refugee family stowing away in the cargo hold all died within a week showing symptoms similar to those exposed to class three radiation incorporation.

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