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n. frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—spending the first few weeks chatting in their [psychological] entryway, with each subsequent [conversation] like entering a different anteroom, each a little closer to the center of the house—wishing instead that you could start there and work your way out, exchanging your deepest secrets first, before easing into casualness, until you’ve built up enough mystery over the years to ask them where they’re from, and [what they do] for a living.
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