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An infamous poison that is known to mortally wound the innocence of any [elementary] schooler exposed to it over a period of 2-4 years. It became tragically popular throughout the western world during the 20th century, and now many of its victims can be observed, while others lie in the grave after their middle-school induced suicide. [Ingredients] in this heinous concoction include: hormones, stress, tests, social awkwardness, bullies, questionably edible food, questionably sane practices, and distant teachers. To prepare a dose of middle school, mix these [ingredients] to 300 degrees Fahrenheit in your local district until it takes the form of a large, dull-brick building.
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