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A variation on the traditional Bacon Battle, this version is equivalent to an extreme sport. Two gentlemen must retire to the home of [one] [lady], and, while one of the gentlemen tastes the sweet nectar of said [lady], the other searches her [house] for bacon. Having found as much bacon as he can, this gentlemen proceeds, unnoticed by the otherwise occupied lady, to cook all the bacon. He will not eat it, but, when it is [cooked], he will instead leave the premises, and go to a pre-arranged meeting place, where he will meet up with his team mate later. The team mate will tell him how the lady reacted upon finding out that all her bacon had been [cooked]. Warning: hilarity is likely to ensue. It is also important to remember that an Ultimate Bacon Battle is a team sport, and striving for individual glory will not be tolerated.
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