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An obsession with the boy band One Direction (aka the parasitic offspring of Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus). Symptoms include sexual frustrations, a massive drop in IQ, and the inability to think, speek or type coherently. If your daughter or someone close to you acquires this illness, the only form of treatment is to tie this person to a chair, throw this chair into a large vat of salt and holy water, and play Metallica nonstop an at maximum volume through headphones duct-taped to their heads. If that doesn't work, murder is the only solution.
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