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Fat man who eats all your cookies during [the holidays]. [Mythical creature] originated in Germany and some how gets his fat ass down your chimney. Best friend is cookie monster. Married to Mrs. Claus. Works [little green], pointed eared, dwarfs to there deaths in a factory in a freezing temperatures all year long. Abuses reindeer by sprinkling magic dust on them mutating their DNA allowing them to fly. Children love him, but pee on his lap in the mall.
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