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To invest a massive amount of your life with a single overriding focus and goal [that is all] encompassing. To approach [realization] of this ultimate desire almost totally, to be 99% of the way there - and then to suddenly, entirely, and without question or any chance of ever being able to try again - you lose it... have it all ripped from your hands just as [you thought] you were about to grasp the grand dream. It's all gone.
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