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1. A large retail chain that has swallowed up and crushed every other video game store on [the planet], thanks to their cutthroat business tactics and biased marketing deals with game [developers].

2. A pawn shop that specifically caters to ripping off unsuspecting children.

3. A place of supposed business hiring idiotic fanboys too stupid to realize that they won't make enough money to buy the games they love so much due to getting no hours on the schedule for lack of upselling magazine [subscriptions] like a drooling girl scout.

4. A special section reserved in the fourth layer of hell where your wallet and sanity aren't the only things raped.

5. A place where fangirls flex their knowledge in hopes of wooing unshowered, overweight nerds, only to reject their advances, because no one outside of Gamestop or the MMOs they play will give them a second look.

6. A business where the average transaction takes over 25 minutes to complete because the clerks hold your purchase hostage until they recite a novel's worth of asinine bullshit [concerning] pre-ordering of a title due to the district manager's bonus that's tied in.

7. A decaying, outdated, archaic [business model] that will choke as soon as the next generation of consoles that don't play [used] games launch.

8. A store where the district managers have never worked a retail gig, let alone played an actual video game, grind employee souls into the epoxy used to create the fee-ridden Comdata pay cards.

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