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N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward [beached whale] should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair. Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to [break the ice] of any situation. *WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY [INAPPROPRIATE] AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
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