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A Pilf is an [individual] who looks as though the top of his head might be on fire. He usually sees the world through [squinty eyes] and smells like old milk, it's probably just his [dingleberries] though. DO NOT, and I repeat DOOO NOT have food around a Pilf. He will go insane and ravage on everything in your household. Think you hear a tea kettle? Or a rape whistle? No... that's probably just the mouth of a young Pilf.
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