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A curious creature, believed to derive from Naval origins, who shits, slams, thunders, or pisses in the oddest of places. Phantom shitters are second to none in terms of secrecy. He/she normally thinks tactically on placement and timing. As a master of clandestine defecating, a phantom shitter is rarely caught and if caught will not disclose the locations of each shit or if there is a second gunman. Typically phantom shitters work alone but at certain times will work in teams of two to throw off the scent of pursuing investigations if there are signs of being targeted for [questioning]. Most phantom shitters start off as [upper decker] shooters and slammers shitting in the top part of the toilet instead of the bottom. The [ones] who experience the success of this get [intoxicated] with joy and pursue further into shitting methods. This typically will carry on from ages 12 to 65, depending on time of first [phantom shit], and are mostly of the male gender. However the most success potential comes at earlier stages due to younger people being more flexible. Just as a chef concerns himself with the right ingredients so do phantom shitters. Texture and consistency play a vital role in each shitting environment and [opportunity]. This normally will depend on the location and who the anal splinter is meant to target. A small portion of phantom shitters sing or hum their own theme music and it is said to be a one of a kind experience if able to catch on camera.
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