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Married's who just can't help themselves but take their whinging offspring everywhere they go. Specifically: quiet pubs, cosy restaurants and a plethora of other entirely unsuitable places. They frequently bore everyone to death with their endless tales about their newborn(s) futile antics, but can't [understand] why you couldn't give a damn and not inconsequentially, saved up to come here for your anniversary/first date and would like them to leave asap FFS!!! This [transformation] afflicts strangers (and former friends), who subsequently become increasingly insufferable, whilst longing for the life you have & hoping to make you suffer for it any way they can. The absolute truth is that whilst you [rock the mic], they're picking sh*t from under their fingernails. Eugh! They call it natural, we know it's nasty.
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